In this episode of BoyFriends, hosts Jarrod, Renee, and newcomer Noel discuss the question of whether one’s standards in dating are too high. This is a common concern among many gay men who are looking for love, and the hosts offer some valuable insights.
A High Bar…or Just Right?
Noel, who is a chef with his own business, believes that his partner should be able to survive on his own, while Renee’s standard is not wanting to date someone who lives too far away. Jarrod values loyalty above all else. While having standards is important, the hosts also acknowledge that it can be challenging to stick to the more important ones when someone meets most of your negotiable criteria (i.e. chiseled abs or a love of camping).
Getting What You Want
The hosts offer some practical advice for those who may be struggling with this issue. Renee suggests that if you are completely closed off to everyone, then perhaps it’s time to lower your standards. Noel suggests waiting and seeing what the other person brings to the table before judging them against your standards. Jarrod advises prioritizing your standards, focusing on the more serious ones, such as finding someone who treats you with kindness and provides emotional support, while being willing to compromise on the negotiable ones, like physical attributes or general interests.
The Bottom Line
Ultimately, the hosts agree that having standards is important, but being flexible and open-minded can lead to better outcomes in dating. If you are struggling with this issue, it’s important to take some time to reflect on what is truly important to you and be willing to be open to new experiences.